And with that they were gone
by thatguywholikestowrite
Summary: "And he did. He drank into oblivion. Didn't remember climbing the stairs. Didn't remember getting into bed. But that's where he woke. Alone. Again. He closed his eyes and adjusted to the light when he heard her beautiful voice."


**I read something similar to this, but for the life of me I cannot remember what it was called. This is a slight change though to what I read. It came to me this morning and I just had to write it down, but this was before I realised I'd read something similar.**

 **Hope you all appreciate it,**

 **Disclaimed: And as always, I really don't own much.**

Red returned to his safe house.

He didn't move houses any more, he didn't think he need to.

This was their home.

 _Home_.

He collapsed on the bed like he did most nights now, he knew that Dembe knew at this point to simply let him be.

He no longer worked with the FBI, he resorted to being on the run again. Especially after the Cabal incident, he had very little interest in continuing the Blacklist. Of course Lizzie disagreed at first but she grew used to it.

"Bad day again babe?" She sat at the end of the bed where the sunlight came through the windows and she looked stunning.

The way the light hit her was incredible.

His perfect.

And that's what she was… perfect.

"Terrible, no one is…" He paused before continuing. "Intimidated by me any more. They all just see this shell of a man. I don't know how to continue… I never thought this would be this difficult."

"Raymond, you lost people you cared deeply about, mourning is a hard process but I think Dembe would agree with me when I say that you need to get back to normal, stop mourning the loss. I know it's hard. But you need to."

"Why does everyone treat me like I'm broken, like I am this shell of a person?" He sighed.

"You've been through an awful lot babe, you lost people you cared about, the whole Cabal incident happened."

"But I still have you."

"Of course you do, come on, the Raymond Reddington got to work with the sexy rookie FBI agent to bring down the most violent and unknown criminals."

"I mean, Amar is sexy, but I just don't know if he's my type sweetheart."

With that she grabbed his balls and yanked, with a slight smile.

"I deserved that."

"Go out Red, go see some old friends."

He just lay there, not bothering to look anymore, he knew what she was going to say.

Knew she'd tell him to get a grip.

But hearing her call him "Raymond" was simply the best thing that had ever crossed his ears.

She started calling him Raymond when they became intimate.

He'll never forget that night.

As he got up to have a shower she'd disappeared…

Probably to tell Dembe he needs to get Raymond back to normal, back to working, back to doing what he does best.

When he finally appeared downstairs he found Dembe sitting alone drinking with his back turned to him.

"You really should listen to her Raymond."

"I know Dembe, but it's hard. No one told me this would be this difficult."

"Come, drink."

And he did.

He drank into oblivion.

Didn't remember climbing the stairs.

Didn't remember getting into bed.

But that's where he woke.

Alone.

Again.

He closed his eyes and adjusted to the light when he heard her beautiful voice.

"Red, please for me, go out today…"

"I don't know if I can."

"I know you can, where is the marvelous man I fell in love with?"

That hit him like a tonne of bricks.

Where had he gone?

He managed to get out that day, visited associates and bargained some deals. He made just the amount of money that he needed to get by. Not being bothered by money no more, he simply just got by.

That night when he got home, he found a letter addressed to an alias he very rarely used and he knew that only one person could have delivered this.

It had to be Richard.

Richard was possibly his only true friend.

It read… " _Raymond, I understand that time are difficult, we never really did see each other often. But I keep tabs, as I'm sure you do also. Please, meet me tonight. Let's drink and smoke cigars like the good old days. Richard_."

"Lizzie, sweetheart…" No response. "Where are you?"

Starting to panic he flew around the house as fast as possible.

She was in the bath, he should have known.

"Are you ok? You look shocked."

"I couldn't find you and you didn't respond." He sat on the edge of the bath tub and just watched her sink into the water and come back up.

"Sorry Raymond, I didn't hear you. I saw the letter on the side, are you going to meet Richard?"

"I don't know."

"I do, and you are. Get out, make some friends, like you used to do." She said cheekily, meaning lady friends. He splashed the water at her and laughed.

She hadn't seen him like this in a long time.

It was nice.

And he knew too, he hadn't actually laughed at much for a long time. She was right.

"I don't need lady friends anymore Lizzie, I have you."

"You do have me, and i'll always be here for you, you know that."

Red paused for a moment and just looked at her. She was so beautiful. Every day she seemed to get more and more gorgeous. "Are you getting in then? Or am I going to have to touch myself?"

With that he stripped off and joined her in the bath tub.

He sat in silence, just appreciating looking at her before he continued. "Ok, you've pulled my leg." He said jokingly. "I'll go out with Richard, it'll be nice to see him, I haven't seen him in so long."

"Good, I'm happy and I'm sure Dembe will be too." She smiled at him more. "Go on, go and get yourself ready. I'll be here when you get back."

With that, he lifted himself from the tub and went to get ready.

As he was placing his clothes out, he heard Dembe from behind him but didn't bother turning around and continued go through his clothes.

"I'm happy you're going out my friend. You need it."

"You're right I do."

He had a wonderful night, Richard and him shared laughs and drinks all night before finishing with a cigar. He'd truly forgotten what it was like to spend time with friends.

This was a good feeling.

But when he got home, he prepared himself for the next day.

The anniversary.

It was going to be hard, but he knew now more than ever that he had to be strong and continue. He would be strong… for the ones he loved who fell for him.

 _For those I love I will sacrifice._

He drank and drank, knowing that from tomorrow onwards he was going to be a stronger person.

This time, he didn't make it to bed.

He simply collapsed in the kitchen.

Waking up in a blur he found a note on the side.

 _Raymond my friend, there's a letter in the third draw down in her office. Go and retrieve it, I know you haven't moved it. Dembe._

Up on reading his eyes filled with tears.

He proceeded to her office, everything was how she left it, not a single thing out of sight.

He found the draw and then found the letter.

 _Raymond my ever and eternal love,_

 _I'm so sorry it's been a year, one whole year and I know it must have been difficult._

 _I'm sorry I'm not here to comfort you, to hold you and tell you that everything will be ok._

 _Just remember, that I'll never our first kiss, our first night, and our first morning._

 _I'm so happy I got to spend true love with you, to experience and feel it._

 _And you know I'll always be here, where you left me, in your heart._

 _Now Raymond, you need to live your life, you need to see the world (I know you have already) but appreciate it again, appreciate all the things you used to do with more wisdom._

 _And finally, please just for me… don't be alone._

 _The mourning is over now and you're ready to move on._

 _I wish I could see you today, I wish I could hold you today, I wish I could be with you one last time... today._

 _You are my one, and only, and true love._

He couldn't believe it.

He didn't understand how he hadn't noticed the note before now.

Why it'd taken to the anniversary of their death to find it.

But he was so happy he did.

He looked up with tears filling his eyes and saw them both stood there, watching him and smiling.

He smiled back.

Just happy to see them one last time.

Elizabeth and Dembe had died a year ago today. They passed away in a snowstorm returning to this safe house, the road had disappeared and Dembe had lost control.

Mr Kaplan had organised with all of them what to happen if one of them were to pass away.

She snuck in at night, helped him get to bed and kept the house safe and clean.

In his drunken constant state he never really noticed her.

Until now.

"Come on deary, let's get you together now."

He looked back up to where Lizzie and Dembe were stood and watch them wave.

And with that they were gone…

He knew now, that in the morning when he woke that they were gone. And yes a piece of him was gone also but now was time to move on.

 _fin._


End file.
